Friday, January 18, 2013

Armstrong fails to Lance the boil

It's always easy to be wise after the event, and even easier to point out that you were actually wise before the event. Or at least that you were wise while the event was going on. Other than the most rose-tinted biased cycling fan I haven't found anyone who really suspected Lance Armstrong was riding clean.

Like most sports fans I didn't really like cycling until Britain started getting really good at it. Even though I've always admired it as a very acceptable mode of transport, in the same way that I think cars are incredible for getting one around but using them as such is in no way a sport. Anyway I digress.

For much of the 1990's and early 2000's you could spot a professional cyclist a mile off. Bloodshot eyes, continual twitching and always carrying around a drugs sample pot asking members of the public to urinate into it in case they were called upon to give a sample. Obviously that's a slight over-exaggeration, but not by much.

I should say that I don't actually blame cyclists for using performance enhancing drugs. They are essentially athletes much the same as any other but being asked to do increasingly stupid things for the entertainment of fans. The bicycle was originally designed for short journalist at a leisurely pace, not for going full pelt up and down the Alps day after day. If I was doing that I think I would need some juice too. Or a car.

While it was well known by anyone with even a passing interest in cycling (even me for goodness sake) that everyone was doing it, that doesn't make it OK for other competitors to start. If you want a level playing field, which we all claim to, then blow the whistle on the cheats. The US Postal Team ended up not having the best cycling team, but they sure as hell had the best chemist.

Then it was all confirmed towards the end of last year when the USADA published its full dossier setting out the claims against Lancey, backed up with testimony from most of his team mates. Instead of doing what any decent human being would have done (at least the sort of decent human being who tries to con the world for 7 years) he denied it all over again, crying conspiracy. The fact that he offered no defence was actually a much better confession than the one he tried to give this week.

This whole 'coming out' thing really is the last insult to cycling fans as well. Rather than have a serious sports journalist to go over his career and really find out why he felt he had the right to cheat for all those years he decides to have Auntie Oprah give him a very light grilling. Someone who knows nothing about what it's like to compete fairly at the highest level of sport....being interviewed by Oprah (yeah I know).

His description of himself as a 'flawed character' is fair comment to say the least. But to suggest that there was some link, even the slightest, to his testicular cancer is a pretty grim insult to anyone who has suffered from the disease and survived. It also left me wondering if it wouldn't have been for the best if he hadn't been able to live strong for such a long time. Just a thought.

His crocodile tears won't butter any parsnips with the vast majority of people, but the ones I really feel sorry for are those who went to watch him ride, caught themselves up in the hype, bought his book and especially those who wore his silly yellow wristbands.

Old Lance has got more questions to answer, and I'm not sure if Oprah will be able to many answers though. Maybe it would better if they were being asked by a lawyer, you know, in court. But he isn't the only one. Unless he had a near miraculous system being put into action, then he should have been picked up by a drugs test, right? Because in the dirtiest of sports you would be testing your idol and poster-boy to check that an entire decade didn't come crashing down around your ears. Wouldn't you? My guess would be that at least a few people in the ICU knew all about these tricks. Who knows, maybe they even helped Lance get away with it to continue the narrative of so many consecutive Tour wins.

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